Inspirational Otter

Inspiration, Motivation, Humor and Oddness

Short and Funny Story Part 2

Posted by on Sep 1, 2015 in Stories

The second part of the short and funny story, My Two Day Bout with Bullemia. A two-day funny true story. Why not put it in two parts. Get part one of this diet humor tale here.

My Two-Day Bout with Bulimia (Part II)

In the magazine, the model talks about using her finger as an aid to help make the magic happen. I attempt to do so. I discover a horrifying truth.

Not only has God cursed me with a bad metabolism, He hasalso cursed me with huge front teeth and short, stubby fingers. I feel thwarted at every turn. I cannot make the magic happen.

I try a toothbrush and nearly choke on it. Death by dental hygiene is not the rock star way I want to die young. I can only imagine what people would think–like I was so stupid that I did not know to stop where my teeth ended and died. Then they would come out with more instructions and disclaimers on toothbrushes. I see a flurry of toothbrushes designed with grip tape. I shudder.

Still determined, I decide I will just think disgusting thoughts and try to throw up. Basically I lean over the toilet and spit a lot. After about 20 minutes I get kind of dizzy and sweaty. I get up a little too fast and almost pass out. I abandon my bulimia. If I am going to get sweaty, dizzy and nearly pass out after 20 minutes I might as well work out.